An Introduction Into Vulnerability
Posted by: Ronda Devereaux | January 6, 2013 | 11:09 am
So when do you feel the most vulnerable?
As I was reading the introduction in Daring Greatly by Brene Brown, I know her therapist was talking to me when she said “Less thinking. More feeling”. You see, it is when I am “feeling” that I feel the most vulnerable. I am much happier and feel much safer when I can stay in my head. But then again, am I really happier or just think I am happy because I feel safe?
Our society today tends to have a problem with emotional honesty, actual emotions of any sort. We keep everyone at a distance. We put on all these suits of armor to navigate through life and never stop to think how heavy the damn things are. What if we just took them off and left it right where we were standing? It seems that our culture has provided new armor for every developmental stage that we go through. By the time we are teens we are already carrying our body weight around on our backs.
Connection is why we’re here. We are hardwired to connect with others, it’s what gives purpose and meaning to our lives, and without it there is suffering. So Brene decided to develop research that explained the anatomy of connection, which led her down the path of studying shame and empathy and the discovery that one of our biggest fears is not being worthy of real connection.
When I lost my niece a few years ago, I kept asking myself “what was she missing”. The answer I kept getting was connection. It is amazing how accurate the voice of your inner self can be. Instead of getting vulnerable with the situation, I took that “in the head and what can I do stance” and trained to become a coach. Not sitting the vulnerability of that situation has caught up with me over the years, in times when I least expected it. Granted it put me on a wonderful path of helping women and teen girls navigate life’s challenges and struggles, but I know my heart could have used a few good cries. Tears are the souls way of cleansing itself. This event also catapulted me from the world of an idealistic left brainer into a the woo woo world of energy and intuition.
Brene defines Vulnerability as the core, the heart, the center, of meaningful human experiences.
I think this explains why we get so caught up in reality shows these days. Why we cheer for the underdog who plays it from the heart. It explains why blogs, social media and reality TV are so popular these days. This media has created a forum for us to be vulnerable to the world. Sure, people use it for other things as well, but it gives us an audience that we feel listens to us.
Check out Brene’s TEDxHouston video on Vulnerability ~
What we know matters, but who we are matters more. Being rather than knowing requires showing up and letting ourselves be seen. It requires us to dare greatly, to be vulnerable.
Let’s make this a year to dare greatly……